Ok update time again. I'm uber bored of waiting (for something) so I'm going to blog to waste time.
So A Levels results are out and I'm glad I did well. Scholarship application is a major bane in my life now. I just applied for DSTA very last minute and screwed up my write up abit but it's fine. I don't think they'll call me and I (currently) hope they won't call me because I'm so afraid of the interview. After this round of application, I realised that hey I don't really want to work for the company afterall...I just want a damn scholarship so I can study in London, which is one of my wildest dreams. I just this one step close to it but this step is a tough one. I never believe I can fake my way through and pretend that I'm interested in working for the company when I'm not. It's just so...hypocritical. And people who know me well knows that I can't stand being someone I do not want to. Is that a weakness? Many a times, especially when it comes to doing stuff I dislike, I think so. :S
I'm still shooting these days but am kinda lost among all my aims. I think I've set too many aims for myself I just can't fulfill them all! I just sent in competition photos for the LTA competition which Ed-t recommend we go for. I think it's a decent attempt at most. But anyhows, I hope I can win some cash from this...so I can upgrade my gear. I went with Joscelin my junior to the studio today to shoot some portraitures today. It was my first (unguided) experience with studio photography and I'm not really satisfied yet honestly. I guess we kinda took too long to set-up and missed the opportunity to do some shots I really wanted to do. Till then then...it costs a fugging $30/hr to book the studio. And I don't really think I can afford this in the long run...too expensive for an experiment. I'm trying to build my own mini studio with 2 strobes, 2 umbrellas/softboxes & wallpaper but I can't find that space in my house. I need my own room badly. Something like Pearlyn's room would be awesome...so conducive for self-portraits.
I'm looking at Maldives photos again! I guess I kinda really miss it lots. Wonder if anyone that went to the trip miss it as much as me. Perhaps they'll when A Levels come (hee hee). But seriously the time at Maldives was one of my happiest moments in my life & it's the most beautiful place I've been. I would very much still like to keep in contact with the J1s I went with on the trip last year but we kinda live different lives...so forget it (<---this sounds emo). I seriously need to go down with the same bunch of people another time. Uber awesome stuff.
Okay I'm done blogging. There always seem to be so much time for me to burn every night. I wonder why am I not putting the nights to good use. I'm not chilling out, neither working on something. Just waiting. Idiot eh. I seriously need to learn how to put somethings aside sometimes & work on stuff that's imminent; like Army. I don't even know wtf is field camp or whatever...sounds tough. I hate the idea of carrying 20kg of nonsense on my back too. Seriously...what's going to happen to people skinnier than me? But then again, I can't really find one. Speaking of which, the gym training hasn't been helping much...on the contary swimming did. Cool eh?
Ok enough of time-wasting. Seize the day.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
It boils down to this
Oh well...I guess everyone is excited about tmr. Some worried. Some afraid. I can't exactly point out how I'm feeling right now. There's certainly anticipation but let's just say that I got a feeling I won't be scoring as many As as I would wish to have.
National exams are always crazy. It's the time where the underdogs unexpectedly do very well and the usual winners start weeping and complaining why didn't they work hard when they couldn't have work any harder. I wouldn't consider myself an underdog or consistent performer so I guess my grades will be easy to predict. Afterall, I managed to guess my O's score (although geog was a total shocker and saver). And that's what get me worried. I keep telling my worried friends "laxing man, what is done is done" and myself that I've nothing to regret since I've tried my best. But the fact remains that "I tried my best" is never a phrase you would love to use (on yourself) when you receive your result slip. Esp when everyone around you start flaunting or talking about the multiple no. of As they have. Pride matters. Future matters even more.
After the NTU Talk last Saturday, I told myself that if I were to ever get crappy grades, I would just happily skip to ADM (Art, Design & Media). But I know that deep down inside, I'm not prepared for it. To embrace Art when it has never been the focus of my life for the past 18 years (until recently). I would definitely not want a score to allow me to consider this option. My pride would take a terrible beating and my future would be ruined, well in a sense. I need a score good enough of my own expectations of myself or even better (thank god) to step out of that hall feeling good enough to tell others my grades.
I hereby pray for everyone around me, esp my best pals, and myself to do well. I would be really thankful if I do not see any tearing faces (including mine) tmr. God bless.
National exams are always crazy. It's the time where the underdogs unexpectedly do very well and the usual winners start weeping and complaining why didn't they work hard when they couldn't have work any harder. I wouldn't consider myself an underdog or consistent performer so I guess my grades will be easy to predict. Afterall, I managed to guess my O's score (although geog was a total shocker and saver). And that's what get me worried. I keep telling my worried friends "laxing man, what is done is done" and myself that I've nothing to regret since I've tried my best. But the fact remains that "I tried my best" is never a phrase you would love to use (on yourself) when you receive your result slip. Esp when everyone around you start flaunting or talking about the multiple no. of As they have. Pride matters. Future matters even more.
After the NTU Talk last Saturday, I told myself that if I were to ever get crappy grades, I would just happily skip to ADM (Art, Design & Media). But I know that deep down inside, I'm not prepared for it. To embrace Art when it has never been the focus of my life for the past 18 years (until recently). I would definitely not want a score to allow me to consider this option. My pride would take a terrible beating and my future would be ruined, well in a sense. I need a score good enough of my own expectations of myself or even better (thank god) to step out of that hall feeling good enough to tell others my grades.
I hereby pray for everyone around me, esp my best pals, and myself to do well. I would be really thankful if I do not see any tearing faces (including mine) tmr. God bless.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Paranoia's your best friend
What's wrong with security in Singapore? Throughout my Made in Singapore photographic trip, I've been threatened by security at least 4 times. Worst of which happened at IRAS (Inland Revenue Authority of Singapore), where the security guard asked me to delete all my photographs. And today I was threatened to be taken to the police again when I was taking a few shots of the F1 pit building.
Can't they tell apart a photography enthusiast and a terrorist? I understand that terrorism is a concern but need they be so uptight about it such that if I'll to spend more than 5mins shooting, I'll be approached by some damn security. Must policemen always stop to see what I'm doing when I'm shooting with my Mega Huge L lens? Need I always have an official pass to capture a scene in your official building?
For god damn sake, these security retards don't know what's photography. Like as if they're good at capturing terrorists either. Some of them don't even look like they can fend off a robber. It's really a shame because Singapore really has some nice architecture and paranoia is stopping these beautifully crafted buildings to be captured and preserved. The IRAS building is one damn good example. Pity it has one of the tightest and most idiotic security I've ever experienced.
Oh wells...what can I do if I don't want to be taken to the police station in a police car? Just delete my photos according to instruction and curse. Fuck security.
Can't they tell apart a photography enthusiast and a terrorist? I understand that terrorism is a concern but need they be so uptight about it such that if I'll to spend more than 5mins shooting, I'll be approached by some damn security. Must policemen always stop to see what I'm doing when I'm shooting with my Mega Huge L lens? Need I always have an official pass to capture a scene in your official building?
For god damn sake, these security retards don't know what's photography. Like as if they're good at capturing terrorists either. Some of them don't even look like they can fend off a robber. It's really a shame because Singapore really has some nice architecture and paranoia is stopping these beautifully crafted buildings to be captured and preserved. The IRAS building is one damn good example. Pity it has one of the tightest and most idiotic security I've ever experienced.
Oh wells...what can I do if I don't want to be taken to the police station in a police car? Just delete my photos according to instruction and curse. Fuck security.
Back on dA
Okay finally after 2 long years...I'm back on Deviantart. I previously took 2 years off from dA to refine my skills and partly because I felt that I hadn't reached sufficient standard to continue posting on dA.
These 2 years wasn't really the time I produced the most number of nice photographs but the time I really got down to learning those techniques...stuff like how to counter strong backlight, indoor settings for flash, light ratios & using a lightmeter and many more. And I must say that taking photos of events constantly in NJ helped me nail my techniques and think faster on the spot.
So after mastering those technicalities, I guess the next step for me would be to explore more perspectives, be it angle, point of view or thought process and ultimately turn Pro before Army. I'm currently trying to build my portfolio and hopefully someone would give me a chance to shoot for them (without pulling strings that's it). Of course there's still lots of experimentation to do and I'm not forgetting the importance of it. But I'll try to shoot something that looks professional while doing so :P
In a blink an eye (okay cliche)...3 mths is about to pass. The next 2 mths is going to be shorter than it seem because of all the preparation work for Army and some emoness/settling some scholarship shit after As (and that depends on how I score). I've really learnt alot during this short stint but hopefully the next 2 mths will be even more fulfilling for me. I can really feel time is running out (Muse fans no pun intended) and currently I just want to grab every opportunity that I've and I'll create. Heh. :)
In the meantime watch me here: http://matthewngphotography.deviantart.com/ :)
Cheers.
These 2 years wasn't really the time I produced the most number of nice photographs but the time I really got down to learning those techniques...stuff like how to counter strong backlight, indoor settings for flash, light ratios & using a lightmeter and many more. And I must say that taking photos of events constantly in NJ helped me nail my techniques and think faster on the spot.
So after mastering those technicalities, I guess the next step for me would be to explore more perspectives, be it angle, point of view or thought process and ultimately turn Pro before Army. I'm currently trying to build my portfolio and hopefully someone would give me a chance to shoot for them (without pulling strings that's it). Of course there's still lots of experimentation to do and I'm not forgetting the importance of it. But I'll try to shoot something that looks professional while doing so :P
In a blink an eye (okay cliche)...3 mths is about to pass. The next 2 mths is going to be shorter than it seem because of all the preparation work for Army and some emoness/settling some scholarship shit after As (and that depends on how I score). I've really learnt alot during this short stint but hopefully the next 2 mths will be even more fulfilling for me. I can really feel time is running out (Muse fans no pun intended) and currently I just want to grab every opportunity that I've and I'll create. Heh. :)
In the meantime watch me here: http://matthewngphotography.deviantart.com/ :)
Cheers.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Rewindingggg
Yay I'm blogging late into the night again. I'm not a stalker but I was reading Zhi Ler's blog (about half way through now) just now and I think it really brings back memories. Your flaming and sacarstic comments really made NJ sound more enjoyable than it is.
But well...sacarstic comments aside, NJ (or JC life in general) isn't really as bad as everyone makes out to be afterall. Tedious as the JC journey might have been, it certainly has its fair share of memorable moments. There're some memories I wish I can relive and others that are memorable (but I don't wish to relive LOL). I know I'm kinda feeling semi-emo now but let's do this in a chronological fashion yea?
2008 J1 Orientation. Okay I know I was an emo kid then. Not mixing with the class. Whatever. Didn't have much impression of this except the 1 single class outing that I attended. After that outing the class just spilted. Wow. Next.
Shooting was really memorable. Great bunch of guys in there except there're too many IPs (sry you know I just inherently dislike IPs) and I really hated a few individuals. However, for the first time I felt my CCA was one big family. Seniors were really really awesome. Kudos to Abel, Jun Yang, Joanna, Sing Hui, Gen & Xin Yuan. I had to leave in June because I couldn't cope with my studies and had to apply for Exco in Photog. Pity. If I could, I definitely would have studied harder & managed my time more effeciently.
Hanging around in school. I rmb I didn't like going home to do hwk during J1 so I just hung around in school to "do abit of hwk" and waited for the throwers to finish their training before I made my way home with them. It just felt really nice to be "involved" with school then. Looking at the Sports people train and other homeless people hang around at the round tables area. Waiting from dusk to twilight...stuff like that.
PW. A VERY important phase of my J1 life. Reading all that shit ZL typed about PW really revived those (painful) memories. It was a wrong move by MOE to put the TCC (Talking Cock Club) and one girl (who is not very girl) together. I admit we were bastards at the beginning (till June) and didn't really wanted to commit to the project but we really made up for it with our sweat and blood towards the end. Still rmb AK fucking up our proposals everytime we handed in to her. Our WR was fail. In comparison to many other people's WRs. But the morning after I finished WR really felt like Bliss. For once the hashbrown I had for breakfast from Mac really tasted like fucking hashbrowns. OP was hiongster chionging...no joke. But I'm really glad we all made it. AAAB results was really a gift. And I'm really thankful for whoever, spiritual or mortal, that made that happen.
ROCK NIGHT. One hell of a night. Best Gig I ever had. Thank God for making that happen. At least I've 1 very successful event in my whole gigging life to rmb. The whole LT was singing It's My Life Chorus in unison. It just felt...super awesome. It was a night I truely felt like a Rockstar. Rock Night aside, I rmb the whole of J1 I was just too focussed on my band 3:45 (till the point of obsession). Everyday I was just thinking of how to improve the songs we play and band matters. On hindsight, it was a really grave mistake. :/ But then again, I gained broader perspectives on these matters after realising how stupid I was and managed to save my A Levels...so I'm thankful for that.
Moving on to 2009...NJPS. One hell of an experience too. No matter what others think, we endured through lots of hardship to make SNAP 2009 happen. And I'm really proud to be the most hiongster Exco of NJPS history. I'm really glad the Competition and Exhibition turned out well. Seminar could have been better but for once, I really felt like I really gave it all for my CCA. So no regrets. NJPS was my heart and soul of 2009 and I felt really proud to create a legacy with the 2008/2009 Exco.
Maldives! A really special event of my life. For the record, it is the furthest place on Earth I've been to from Singapore. The place has the most no. of stars I've ever seen in my life. Till the point it looks like noise when you set your camera at ISO 128000. I made a friend there in a short 10 days stint that I can call a True Friend. Thanks to them I returned to SG with more presents I ever had for all my birthdays added together. And I met a girl, which for once, meant so much to me for the past 11 months.
Prelims & A Levels. After NJPS & Maldives...school was nothing but pure mugging. Fortunately, my foundation for J2 wasn't as weak as during J1 because I got to know ML. And I'm really thankful. For both her help & our friendship. :) In retrospect, it was really fucked up to study for As. Thank god for giving me the motivation to just studying like some motherfucking (I'm sorry but this term just has to be used) mugger who doesn't go out except to Lot One for lunch during study breaks & hols. And thanks to my NJC teachers for giving me soooo much pressure I managed to do just decently well at the end of the day.
Mugging is memorable (esp since I'm experiencing almost the opposite everyday now) but I really wish I don't have to relive this fucked up piece of motherfucking shit over again.
Wow...I just realised I finished typing my entire NJC life here. Left out a few insignificant events but who cares. And for once...I just suddenly feel like going back to school and revive all these memories. Alone. And just savour the moment...
But well...sacarstic comments aside, NJ (or JC life in general) isn't really as bad as everyone makes out to be afterall. Tedious as the JC journey might have been, it certainly has its fair share of memorable moments. There're some memories I wish I can relive and others that are memorable (but I don't wish to relive LOL). I know I'm kinda feeling semi-emo now but let's do this in a chronological fashion yea?
2008 J1 Orientation. Okay I know I was an emo kid then. Not mixing with the class. Whatever. Didn't have much impression of this except the 1 single class outing that I attended. After that outing the class just spilted. Wow. Next.
Shooting was really memorable. Great bunch of guys in there except there're too many IPs (sry you know I just inherently dislike IPs) and I really hated a few individuals. However, for the first time I felt my CCA was one big family. Seniors were really really awesome. Kudos to Abel, Jun Yang, Joanna, Sing Hui, Gen & Xin Yuan. I had to leave in June because I couldn't cope with my studies and had to apply for Exco in Photog. Pity. If I could, I definitely would have studied harder & managed my time more effeciently.
Hanging around in school. I rmb I didn't like going home to do hwk during J1 so I just hung around in school to "do abit of hwk" and waited for the throwers to finish their training before I made my way home with them. It just felt really nice to be "involved" with school then. Looking at the Sports people train and other homeless people hang around at the round tables area. Waiting from dusk to twilight...stuff like that.
PW. A VERY important phase of my J1 life. Reading all that shit ZL typed about PW really revived those (painful) memories. It was a wrong move by MOE to put the TCC (Talking Cock Club) and one girl (who is not very girl) together. I admit we were bastards at the beginning (till June) and didn't really wanted to commit to the project but we really made up for it with our sweat and blood towards the end. Still rmb AK fucking up our proposals everytime we handed in to her. Our WR was fail. In comparison to many other people's WRs. But the morning after I finished WR really felt like Bliss. For once the hashbrown I had for breakfast from Mac really tasted like fucking hashbrowns. OP was hiongster chionging...no joke. But I'm really glad we all made it. AAAB results was really a gift. And I'm really thankful for whoever, spiritual or mortal, that made that happen.
ROCK NIGHT. One hell of a night. Best Gig I ever had. Thank God for making that happen. At least I've 1 very successful event in my whole gigging life to rmb. The whole LT was singing It's My Life Chorus in unison. It just felt...super awesome. It was a night I truely felt like a Rockstar. Rock Night aside, I rmb the whole of J1 I was just too focussed on my band 3:45 (till the point of obsession). Everyday I was just thinking of how to improve the songs we play and band matters. On hindsight, it was a really grave mistake. :/ But then again, I gained broader perspectives on these matters after realising how stupid I was and managed to save my A Levels...so I'm thankful for that.
Moving on to 2009...NJPS. One hell of an experience too. No matter what others think, we endured through lots of hardship to make SNAP 2009 happen. And I'm really proud to be the most hiongster Exco of NJPS history. I'm really glad the Competition and Exhibition turned out well. Seminar could have been better but for once, I really felt like I really gave it all for my CCA. So no regrets. NJPS was my heart and soul of 2009 and I felt really proud to create a legacy with the 2008/2009 Exco.
Maldives! A really special event of my life. For the record, it is the furthest place on Earth I've been to from Singapore. The place has the most no. of stars I've ever seen in my life. Till the point it looks like noise when you set your camera at ISO 128000. I made a friend there in a short 10 days stint that I can call a True Friend. Thanks to them I returned to SG with more presents I ever had for all my birthdays added together. And I met a girl, which for once, meant so much to me for the past 11 months.
Prelims & A Levels. After NJPS & Maldives...school was nothing but pure mugging. Fortunately, my foundation for J2 wasn't as weak as during J1 because I got to know ML. And I'm really thankful. For both her help & our friendship. :) In retrospect, it was really fucked up to study for As. Thank god for giving me the motivation to just studying like some motherfucking (I'm sorry but this term just has to be used) mugger who doesn't go out except to Lot One for lunch during study breaks & hols. And thanks to my NJC teachers for giving me soooo much pressure I managed to do just decently well at the end of the day.
Mugging is memorable (esp since I'm experiencing almost the opposite everyday now) but I really wish I don't have to relive this fucked up piece of motherfucking shit over again.
Wow...I just realised I finished typing my entire NJC life here. Left out a few insignificant events but who cares. And for once...I just suddenly feel like going back to school and revive all these memories. Alone. And just savour the moment...
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Of Epic-ness
Okay last night was a really epic night.
For starters, I broke my specs frame for the grand third time in 2 years. First time was during J1 Orientation Dance Party. I was dancing like some crazy fool and suddenly my specs went onto the ground and broke. Tsk. Second was...forgotten. And yesterday, amidst the moshing during Rise Against set, Kah han landed a fatal blow to my specs again. One moment I saw his head coming towards mine and next moment I heard a crack sound before I momentarily went into a semi-blind state. Oh wells...no one to blame but myself I guess. Should really have practised some restraint.
But MUSE kinda more than made up for it :P It wasn't their best set last night but I'm not complaining. Kudos to MUSE for Stockholm Syndrome, MK Ultra, Knights of Cydonia (with Man with Harmonica intro) and SUNBURN! Hysteria and Stockholm was EPIC. TIRO, MK and Knights were less epic but good nonetheless. I bet MUSE was really feeling good (no pun intended) because of the enthusiastic crowd last night.
There were a few interesting boards held up by fans in the first Pen too. Notable quotes of the night: "Fuck me, Bellamy", "Please play Citizen Erased, Can't Take My Eyes Off You and Unintended" and "Can I have your Plectrum (aka guitar pick)?". Epic.
Well...all epic nights have to come to an end. It was really back to reality after MUSE last night. No more anticipation until at least 3 years later. :( And for some of my friends who are going Army (esp YS) today or within the next few days I guess it must have felt worse. Anws All The Best to life in NS man. The online scene will definitely be quieter without you guys around anymore :(
Shall end off here. Feeling really wasted from the fatigue from last night.
For starters, I broke my specs frame for the grand third time in 2 years. First time was during J1 Orientation Dance Party. I was dancing like some crazy fool and suddenly my specs went onto the ground and broke. Tsk. Second was...forgotten. And yesterday, amidst the moshing during Rise Against set, Kah han landed a fatal blow to my specs again. One moment I saw his head coming towards mine and next moment I heard a crack sound before I momentarily went into a semi-blind state. Oh wells...no one to blame but myself I guess. Should really have practised some restraint.
But MUSE kinda more than made up for it :P It wasn't their best set last night but I'm not complaining. Kudos to MUSE for Stockholm Syndrome, MK Ultra, Knights of Cydonia (with Man with Harmonica intro) and SUNBURN! Hysteria and Stockholm was EPIC. TIRO, MK and Knights were less epic but good nonetheless. I bet MUSE was really feeling good (no pun intended) because of the enthusiastic crowd last night.
There were a few interesting boards held up by fans in the first Pen too. Notable quotes of the night: "Fuck me, Bellamy", "Please play Citizen Erased, Can't Take My Eyes Off You and Unintended" and "Can I have your Plectrum (aka guitar pick)?". Epic.
Well...all epic nights have to come to an end. It was really back to reality after MUSE last night. No more anticipation until at least 3 years later. :( And for some of my friends who are going Army (esp YS) today or within the next few days I guess it must have felt worse. Anws All The Best to life in NS man. The online scene will definitely be quieter without you guys around anymore :(
Shall end off here. Feeling really wasted from the fatigue from last night.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MUSE LIVE IN SINGAPORE 2010 IS HAPPENING IN 20HOURS TIME!!!! WAT THE HELL WAT THE HELL!!!! I'M GOING CRAZZZZZYZYZYYYZYZY
MUSE LIVE IN SINGAPORE 2010 IS HAPPENING IN 20HOURS TIME!!!! WAT THE HELL WAT THE HELL!!!! I'M GOING CRAZZZZZYZYZYYYZYZY
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